He never had to tell me about it. It was like a consumed fact, something I had known all my life and that would never change. Like the sky being blue and the grass being green. Maybe it was because of it that we became so close.

“You are the only one that I can really trust and the only one that has patience to listen to me”, he tells me sometimes.

As for me, I keep him around because it’s useful to have a man like him and because of our pact. To discover the path into the forbidden secret; to unfold the mysteries of the taboo; to reveal under a light of hope the mind of a man.

It seems silly, of course. However, it is a mystery for us. How do they feel, how do they make decisions, how do they love. And especially what do we need to be loved by them. Both of us, me and him, are curious to know. We want to study it, we want to dissect their minds and discover exactly what is required to be loved by a man. He knows the body very well, all the types of body from all the types of men. On the other hand I like to analyse the feelings and emotions. Together we may be able to make a conclusion.

Even though we met many years ago I still have the patience for him. I always listen to his silly rants about how famous he will be when he grows up and I like to help him with skin beauty products. I even listen to him when he gets drunk and sings horrible songs about prostitution. It bothers me and sometimes I think that I should just handle him over to someone else but… I really like it, deep inside. It’s not something that will reward me in the future. Taking care of him is only the obligation of a good friend but I don’t feel it as obligation anymore. It’s just something that happens and will forever happen.

On our quest to learn how to be loved by men, I get hurt many times. He never gets hurt and so he can pat me in the head and tell me every man is the same and that they are all filthy bastards. He is not one, of course. He is in a special category. He does not like to be called by some names, but when it’s me he does not bother. I am happy for it, or else it would be really hard to explain that he is my gay friend.

We’re together on this adventure because we both want to be loved. We need the men to be loved. After all, if you don’t love you will be lonely isn’t it? However, it’s never lonely when he’s around. And even though we are described as “girl friends” sometimes I feel uneasy when he’s around. And he feels the same way too. It’s a weird feeling, but somewhat I like it.

The riddle we have to solve includes many nuances and we’ve been trying to break through it for all these years. Now that I am here waiting for him I got some time to think this over. We’re just going out to meet new men and inquiry them about how they function. Always attentive to weird movements, to alien attitudes and to unexpected events we are going on a new adventure to solve the mystery. But now that I am here, and he’s at least ten minutes late, I think I have the solution. It has always been here, but I will not tell him right now. Or else our fun will be ruined.

He is my gay friend and people call us “girl friends”. Indeed, now that I think over I may as well be a lesbian.